The TV Time Travellers Page 8

  ‘Yeah, probably,’ began Leo.

  ‘Oh well, I’ll risk it,’ she said, her teeth jumping out of bright red lips every time she spoke, ‘as I’m not supposed to do this.’ She moved even closer to us. ‘But I’ve been watching you on the telly every night and wanted to warn you both, and especially you,’ she said, nodding at Leo.

  ‘Warn me about what?’ asked Leo, looking positively startled now.

  ‘Be very very careful when—’ But before she could say another word Miss Weed appeared. She was smiling, but the smile never reached her eyes.

  ‘Now come on, what’s this? You know it’s forbidden to talk to our evacuees about the show, don’t you?’ She gave an exaggerated laugh and went on, ‘That was made quite clear to you in our instruction sheet before you were allowed admittance. And you wouldn’t want to get Leo disqualified, would you?’

  ‘No, of course not,’ said the poor woman, her face nearly as red as her lipstick now.

  ‘Now, let me help you out,’ said Miss Weed. I looked up to see Mr Wallack hovering close by too, and both of them practically frogmarched the woman out of the hall.

  ‘What was she trying to warn us about?’ demanded Leo. ‘It could be anything; maybe she was going to warn us not to talk to Harriet.’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ I said at once.

  ‘Well, we’ll never know as Wally has probably had that poor woman vaporized by now.’

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  The Sirens Wail

  Izzy

  YOU WON’T BELIEVE this.

  I didn’t at first.

  But I really enjoyed meeting those ancient evacuees. And I’d been dreading having to listen to them ramble on.

  Yet it wasn’t like that at all. I suppose I knew a bit about what they were talking about. So when they moaned on, for instance, about how awful Spam tasted, I could join in.

  They were dead funny too. This one old lady, Nora, even told me of the time she bit a teacher. She goes: ‘Well, the teacher kept on saying I had nits and I wasn’t having that. So when she came near me I bit her.’

  But Nora got two strokes of the cane for doing that; right on her hands too. Just about everyone I’d spoken to had been caned for something.

  You know something else? I’d say meeting Nora and all the others was the highlight of Strictly Evacuees for me. That, and getting to know Leo, Zac, Barney and Solly. (And yes, you’ve noticed who I missed out.)

  Actually, nothing was ever as good on the show after that afternoon. In fact, things started to go downhill pretty rapidly, although we had a wild time that evening.

  Farmer Benson and his wife wanted to show us a typical family night in during the war. So we all piled into the sitting room and spent the evening playing board games for the undead, and then singing old wartime songs – with Mrs Benson pounding away on the piano. Scarily, I actually enjoyed all that too (not that I’d want to do it too often, though).

  But I really felt like a time traveller that night. In fact, I’d got so into the wartime spirit that even when I was asleep I could hear an air-raid siren: a horrible, wailing noise it was. ‘Switch it down,’ I muttered. Then I opened my eyes to see Miss Weed’s nostrils flaring down at me.

  ‘Grab a blanket, some shoes and your mike, and move, move, move!’ she cried.

  I shook my head. Was I still dreaming? And was I really in the war or not? I was so disorientated that I wasn’t completely sure for a few seconds.

  ‘Come on, Isobel,’ urged Miss Weed. ‘Can’t you hear the air-raid siren? Now, move.’

  Then I heard Harriet say, ‘Don’t worry, Miss Weed, I’ll look after her,’ in such a smug, aren’t-I-wonderful voice that I woke up then all right. In fact, I jumped out of bed searching frantically for my shoes, while that siren seemed to be getting even louder.

  ‘My shoes have walked off somewhere,’ I muttered. ‘You haven’t seen them, have you?’

  ‘They’ll be just where you left them,’ said Harriet, patting her hair in the mirror.

  ‘Thank you for those very wise words,’ I muttered.

  Finally I found them (and they had magically moved themselves) and tumbled downstairs after Harriet.

  Everyone else was already there, except for Farmer Benson and Zac, who were checking all the animals were safe. Then Miss Weed screeched, ‘Isobel, where’s your gas mask?’

  ‘Oh, will I need it?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes!’ Miss Weed screamed.

  So I sped upstairs, grabbed the gas mask – which was practically falling to pieces now – and tore back down again.

  Farmer Benson and Zac had now appeared. ‘Sorry to get you out of bed like this,’ said Farmer Benson. ‘Been a bit of a shock to me too,’ he added, half under his breath, ‘but there’s a little aerial disturbance coming up, apparently. So it’s best if we all take shelter in the safest place of the house – down in the cellar.’

  ‘And very quickly please,’ added Miss Weed. She seemed really worked up. And although it sounds mad, part of me was oddly scared too.

  I said to Farmer Benson, ‘But this isn’t right – we moved to the country to escape the bombing.’

  ‘Ah, but there were stray attacks outside the cities as well,’ he said. ‘Well, we had one here. I remember my grandad telling me about a large land mine that came down one night in a field. Very luckily it got caught in a tree, because if it had hit the ground and exploded . . .’

  Farmer Benson shook his head. And then Mrs Benson told us how her grandmother woke up one night in the war to find a wall of her bedroom had just disappeared, thanks to a bombing raid.

  ‘I’d be furious about that,’ said Leo, ‘as I hate anyone coming into my bedroom.’ I tried to laugh, but I just felt so muddled too and half still in a dream. Perhaps that’s why I was actually scared as well.

  We were led into this cellar, which was very cold and very dark and very small. And then we heard the whistle and scream of a bomb falling. It was so loud I actually ducked, making Leo and Barney fall about laughing.

  ‘That was close,’ murmured Miss Weed.

  But then came the whistle of another bomb, which sounded even louder and felt as if it made the whole house shake. I whispered to Leo, ‘They’re not really going to blow us up, are they?’

  ‘If it improves the ratings, they will,’ he replied. ‘But no, it’s not really real; it’s just to wind us up. There’s a little camera hidden up there.’

  And I knew that. The sound effects were so impressive, though. Zac had his eyes tightly closed. ‘Hey, are you all right?’ I asked.

  ‘Oh, yes,’ he murmured, and still with his eyes closed he went on, ‘This is one part of the war I really wouldn’t have liked. Did you know that in London during the Blitz they had fifty-seven continuous nights of bombing?’

  Fifty-seven nights of horror and death screeching down on them. How did they stand it?

  Outside, our bombing went on and on. Once the whole house seemed to be picked up and shaken. Solly was cowering underneath Barney’s pyjama top.

  ‘Are you scared too?’ Solly asked me in a hoarse whisper.

  ‘A bit,’ I replied. ‘Even though I do know it’s not real.’

  Solly tilted his head to one side. ‘How much longer will this bombing last?’

  ‘We don’t know,’ said Barney.

  ‘I wasn’t asking you,’ said Solly. ‘I’m asking my friend here.’ And he gently snuggled his chin under my arm. I started to stroke him, just as if he was a nervous dog. ‘How about if we sing some more songs,?’ said Solly. ‘That might take our mind off the bombing.’

  Farmer Benson thought Solly’s idea was an excellent one. We’d just finished singing Underneath the Arches when the air-raid siren sounded again. Only this time it was the all clear.

  Farmer Benson dashed outside to assess the damage, with us close behind. Several of the windows had been blown out and pieces of shrapnel littered the farmyard. Glass was scattered everywhere too. Farmer Benson looked as shocked as we did
; I don’t think he had believed that the television company would actually cause any damage. His face set, he rushed off to check on the animals again.

  I looked at the glass and shivered. I just couldn’t help it. But Leo whispered to me, ‘Don’t get too worked up.’

  ‘I’m not,’ I said.

  ‘It isn’t real, like I keep telling you – nothing is real in this place,’ he said. ‘They probably just threw all this stuff around.’ He sounded angry. But I couldn’t help thinking that Farmer Benson had looked pretty worried . . .

  Then Leo told me about the warning he’d received at the evacuees’ party.

  ‘That’s incredible,’ I said. ‘Was she trying to warn you about Harriet?’

  ‘I haven’t a single clue,’ said Leo. ‘But I can’t stop thinking about it. I tell you, this is a dead weird place.’

  ‘I had noticed.’

  ‘Still, I’ll be voted out tomorrow,’ he said.

  ‘No, you won’t,’ I replied. ‘It’ll be me for certain.’

  ‘I hope you’re not discussing tomorrow’s eviction.’ I hadn’t noticed Harriet creep up beside us.

  ‘We’d never do anything as shameful as that,’ said Leo with a big grin on his face.

  But when I got back to our bedroom a stern-faced Miss Weed was waiting for me. ‘In the war,’ she said, ‘they had a saying – “Careless Talk Costs Lives”. It can also get you evicted. You do not discuss who may or may not get evicted with anyone. Is that clear?’

  ‘Yes, Miss Weed,’ I said.

  After Miss Weed had stalked out, I turned on Harriet. ‘Did you tell her then?’ I asked.

  ‘No, I didn’t,’ she replied. ‘You must have been observed talking about it on one of the cameras.’

  I wasn’t convinced, but I was just too tired to argue. And two minutes later (or that’s what it felt like), Miss Weed came in clanging that awful bell again and telling us it was time to get up. I lay there for a few minutes, my head pounding with tiredness.

  ‘You’re going to be late,’ chirped Harriet. ‘And it’s your turn to tidy up the room today – and you know how thorough Miss Weed’s inspections are.’

  ‘All right,’ I said, dragging myself out of bed. Harriet was already dressed. ‘This is sheer torture,’ I murmured.

  Harriet laughed. ‘But it’s all good, babe, isn’t it?’

  I put my hands over my ears. ‘Harriet, don’t say that so early in the morning. In fact, I may have to kill you if you ever say it again.’

  Harriet laughed that deep, throaty, really irritating laugh. ‘You are funny.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, you go around moaning and hating everything. You don’t seem to realize this is a unique experience for us.’

  ‘Thanks for the lecture,’ I grunted, and I sat on the bed. I had a hammering headache now. I think it was having to listen to Harriet’s voice all the time. Then I realized Harriet was watching me. ‘What are you looking at?’ I asked.

  ‘I’ve decided you’re the funniest person I’ve ever met,’ she said. Then she gave me one of her blinding smiles.

  I picked up the jug of water and walked over to Harriet.

  She went on grinning away.

  ‘Here’s something to really make you laugh,’ I said.

  And I tipped the jug of water all over Harriet’s smug little face.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Izzy in Trouble

  Izzy

  ‘LOOK WHAT YOU’VE done,’ gasped Harriet, her face deep red with shock.

  And then she let out a scream which could have wiped out any number of air-raid sirens. In fact, it was so ear-piercingly, earth-shatteringly loud, I had to jump away from her.

  Seconds later Miss Weed, Farmer Benson, Mrs Benson, Zac, Barney and Leo all charged into our bedroom. Then they just gaped at Harriet, who was looking all mournful and dripping water everywhere.

  ‘Is this your doing?’ demanded Miss Weed of me.

  ‘Well, yes, I’m afraid I sort of tripped over.’

  ‘Don’t be afraid,’ murmured Leo, ‘be proud.’

  ‘Tell the truth at least,’ wailed Harriet. ‘You didn’t trip at all, you did it deliberately. Admit it.’

  ‘All right,’ I said quietly, ‘I admit it.’

  ‘You, downstairs now,’ said Miss Weed to me. ‘I’m sure Mr Wallack will have something to say to you when he hears about this.’

  I had no doubt he would. Harriet went downstairs too, escorted by Mrs Benson to dry off in the kitchen. The boys disappeared with Farmer Benson to do the outdoor tasks, which are far too stren-uous for mere girlies, while I stood in the hallway waiting for Mr Cheery Chuckles.

  A few minutes later he arrived, and after a whispered briefing from Miss Weed he barked, ‘Follow me.’ I stood in the sitting room, while he walked round me with this appalled look on his face as if I was some especially gruesome exhibit at the Chamber of Horrors.

  ‘I’m beyond disappointed,’ he said at last. ‘And I’m trying to understand you.’

  ‘Good luck with that,’ I said, and I tried to smile.

  His face grew even bleaker (if this was possible). ‘Why on earth did you do it?’ he asked.

  ‘I really don’t know,’ I said.

  ‘I’ve never met a student with such a bad attitude as you.’

  I hung my head. I did feel sort of ashamed. I mean, you really shouldn’t go throwing jugs of water over people, no matter how insane they make you feel.

  ‘I am now giving you a second warning,’ said Wally. ‘One more warning and you will be automatically evicted. Do you understand?’

  ‘Totally,’ I said.

  I went upstairs. And I knew the word ‘sorry’ just had to leap out of my mouth. So straight away I said, ‘Harriet, I’m very, very sorry for tipping water over you.’

  She was drying her hair. ‘Are you really sorry?’ she said. ‘Or are you just pretending?’

  ‘Oh, no, I’m very, very sorry.’

  ‘And do you sincerely mean it?’ she demanded.

  ‘Yes,’ I cried, a bit impatiently now.

  ‘All right then.’ She put down her towel and walked over to me. Then she gave me this big, sloppy hug. I nearly vomited with horror. ‘I know you’ve got tons of problems and can’t control yourself, so I shouldn’t get mad at you. Instead, I’m going to try and help you.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I whispered.

  ‘I so want to be your friend over the next few days.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said again, in an even fainter voice.

  Then she added sweetly, ‘That’s if you don’t get voted out tonight, of course.’

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Eviction Night

  Zac

  THAT EVENING WE all gathered round the kitchen table. Leo, Izzy and Barney sat together, their faces tense with nerves when they didn’t think anyone was watching. And in the corner of the kitchen were their bags, all packed.

  Solly Seal began shivering. ‘Is he sickening for something?’ asked Izzy.

  ‘No,’ Barney replied. ‘It’s just he really doesn’t want to leave.’

  Izzy rubbed his head. ‘I think you’ll be all right, Solly.’

  Then Sig breezed in. We’d met him that first day at the studio. Now he was back in a bright blue blazer and waving an envelope about. ‘Hello, folks,’ he said. ‘I have here the results of the viewers’ votes. And they have been voting in their thousands for you.’

  ‘They must be mad then,’ said Leo. But I saw he’d gone very still now. Izzy wasn’t moving either.

  Suddenly Barney whispered, ‘Let us four join hands.’ He was in the middle, so his hand clasped Leo’s while Solly nuzzled against Izzy’s hand. Mr Wallack noticed this and frowned, but he didn’t say anything.

  ‘Now, unhappily, the person with the fewest votes,’ said Sig, his face suddenly sagging with sadness, ‘must leave the Second World War for good. You will be escorted back to modern life . . .’

  A grim, square-jawed wom
an in wartime uniform, who I’d never seen before, loomed into view.

  ‘And in London you will meet up with your family again, who have been following your adventures,’ went on Sig. ‘So now, the moment of truth.’ He ripped open the envelope. Then he said, ‘Leo . . .’

  Leo immediately jumped up. ‘OK, I’m ready. Freedom, here I come. I’d like to say it’s been fun – but really it hasn’t. See you all in 2009, and keep it fresh, all right?’

  ‘Leo,’ cried Sig, ‘if you’d let me finish: I was about to tell you that you’re safe – and will not be leaving this time.’

  Leo couldn’t stop a little smile flickering across his face. Neither could I. I hadn’t liked him at all at first, but now I’d have really missed him.

  ‘Are you sure I’m staying?’ asked Leo.

  ‘Positive,’ said Sig.

  ‘Then I demand a recount.’

  ‘Leo, sit down,’ hissed Mr Wallack.

  Leo plonked himself down again and Sig turned to Izzy, Barney and Solly. ‘It is between you two.’

  ‘Three,’ corrected Solly.

  Sig smiled. ‘What am I thinking of? Three. The first person to leave Strictly Evacuees is . . .’

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  The First Evictee Leaves

  Izzy

  OF COURSE SIG made us wait about twenty thousand years before he announced the loser’s name.

  But finally, finally, a word escaped from his lips: ‘Barney,’ followed by, ‘And Solly too, I’m afraid.’

  I’d been holding my breath for so long that I started gasping frantically: a huge rush of relief, of course. But then I caught a glimpse of Barney’s face. And just for a second there he looked absolutely shattered. All his dreams of TV fame had come crashing down on him.

  And Solly just seemed to wilt in front of us. I patted him and said, ‘I’m really sorry.’ Yes, I spoke to Solly before Barney, how mad is that? But Solly looked so little and defeated – and all right, I know he isn’t real, but I still felt dead sorry for him.

  Then Sig announced, ‘Barney and Solly, it’s time for you to be whizzed back to the present. You have three minutes to leave your wartime home.’